How to Prepare Your Home for a Zombie Invasion

It’s Halloween season, which means spookiness is in the air! But while you’re stocking up on candy and crafting the perfect costume, don’t forget about the most important part of Halloween: Zombie-proofing your home. Sure, zombies probably won’t invade this Halloween… but if they did, you’d be ready! Here’s your ultimate guide to turning your home into the ultimate anti-zombie fortress.

1. Fortify Your Perimeter

The first rule of zombie survival? Keep them out! Think of your home’s perimeter like a medieval castle wall.

• Spiky Landscaping: Thorny bushes, sharp branches, and prickly cacti are your best friends. Zombies might not feel pain, but tangled zombies are slowed zombies. Plant them around windows and entry points to stop zombies from shambling right up to your door.
• Motion-Activated Lights: Zombies love the dark, so make their approach a little less cozy with motion-sensing floodlights. They might not scare off the undead, but they’ll give you a heads-up if anything’s moving around outside.
• Decorate with “Anti-Zombie” Signs: Use Halloween decor to your advantage! “Quarantine Zone” signs, zombie silhouettes, and even glow-in-the-dark barricades add creepy vibes and ward off any wandering undead (or pranksters who might be testing the fence!).

2. Upgrade Doors and Windows

Nothing’s worse than an unsecured window or unlocked door when zombies come knocking.

• Reinforce Windows: Forget simple locks. Use wooden boards to create an aesthetic but impenetrable barrier. You can also place heavy furniture in front of lower windows to prevent zombies from busting through.
• Install Deadbolts and Barricades: Make sure all doors have multiple locks. Deadbolts are great, but don’t stop there! A thick wooden beam or sturdy bar across the door could be the difference between survival and zombie roommates.
• Zombie-Proof Halloween Curtains: Go the extra mile and add blackout curtains with Halloween patterns to prevent zombies from seeing any movement inside.

3. Prepare an "Emergency Zombie Kit"

You know those “in case of fire” kits? Well, it’s time to assemble one for a zombie invasion!

• Weapon Essentials: While it’s just for fun (probably), there’s no harm in keeping a sturdy broomstick or baseball bat around. Make sure they’re within reach in any room you plan to bunker down in.
• Supplies Stash: Zombies aren’t known for their quick exits, so prepare to be hunkered down for a while. Stock up on non-perishable foods, bottled water, and some entertainment (old Halloween comics or spooky books) to keep things lighthearted.
• First Aid Kit: Just in case a Halloween accident turns into a zombie “scrape,” keep a basic first-aid kit handy. Bandages, antiseptic, and lots of gauze—because, you know, the mess.

4. Zombie Deterrents & Distractions 

Not only can these add flair to your Halloween decorations, but they’ll also keep zombies occupied!

• Noisy Animatronics & Scary Soundtracks: Set up motion-activated Halloween decorations to lure zombies to decoys instead of your door. Creepy laughter, a moaning ghost, or even a witch’s cackle could buy you time to escape.
• Brains on a Stick: Stick some faux “brains” or severed limbs (all fake, of course) along your perimeter. Zombies are all about devouring brains, so giving them a (fake) snack could keep them from investigating further.
• Distraction Station: If the worst happens, set up a quick distraction station—a box with noisemakers like wind-up toys or even an old alarm clock that you can toss out a window to draw zombies away.

5. Plan Your Escape Routes

Even if you’re fully prepared, you should always have a plan B! Map out a few safe routes out of your neighborhood in case things get too hairy.

• Multiple Exits: Ensure you have several ways out of each room. A window ladder or even a good old-fashioned fire escape could be the key to freedom if zombies break in.
• Emergency Meeting Point: If you’re preparing for a zombie invasion as a family or group, set a designated meeting point outside your neighborhood where everyone can regroup if separated.

6. Set Up a Zombie Watch Tower

The ultimate move for serious zombie-preppers? A zombie lookout station!

• Build a High Spot: Use your attic, roof deck, or even a sturdy ladder to better view the surroundings. Set up some binoculars and Halloween-themed flashlights (bonus points for bat-shaped ones) for a fully functional lookout.
• Assign Watch Shifts: If you’re holding down the fort with friends or family, have some fun by assigning “zombie patrol” shifts. Add a walkie-talkie system, and you’ll be living your best survival fantasy.

7. The Final Touch: Costume Up!

Just because you’re defending against a zombie invasion doesn’t mean you can’t look the part. Gear up with Halloween costumes that double as camouflage: smear on some zombie makeup and dress in tattered clothes. Blending in is half the battle!